Are There People Out There Who NEVER Get Stressed?
I’ve recently struggled a lot with stress and anxiety due to to a career switch.
Going from a stable paycheck and some hefty perks to an uncertain income. Even though it was by choice, the negative impact was the same.
Worrying, not being able to sleep properly, pondering on how to do something, more than actually doing it… Check!
I stumbled upon an answer written by a young boy on Quora. The title was: “Habits of people who NEVER get stressed.”
I’ve read it, a few times. Even though I found the points he proposed insightful, I had a strong issue with the actual idea. Never getting stressed. Is this even possible?
I did a bit of ol’ fashion Googling. No, no scientific data which supports the premise.
What I did find was about 50 other articles titled the same as the answer on Quora.
If it’s not “Never being stressed”, what is it?
It’s not about being superhuman, and never feeling stressed or overwhelmed. More along the lines of how to battle stress. Or how to find a way to prevent it.
I honestly don’t believe there is a “One size fits all” solution. (Contrary to what many authors of pop psychology self-help books try to make us believe). One reason lies in biology.
“Your biology definitely plays a role. Some people are just more anxiety-sensitive or threat-sensitive” says Melanie Greenberg, PhD, author of the book, The Stress-Proof Brain: Master Your Emotional Response to Stress Using Mindfulness and Neuroplasticity.
According to the interview for Rafinery29, she states that another factor is our upbringing: “What you learn in childhood is another factor. If you have a dysfunctional family or childhood trauma, it can change the wiring of your brain and make you less able to deal with stress… there are also the expectations in your culture — some cultures tend to be more stoic, but others are more expressive.”
All these factors play a significant role in how you face and handle stress. If you’ve had the privilege to be born with the ability to be less “anxiety-sensitive,” in a stable and loving family, trauma-free, growing up in a country where it’s more appropriate to be stoic…
Congratulations! You’re a lucky one.
Does that mean you will NEVER feel stressed? Probably not. You will be more equipped to handle stress, but not immune to it.
Can we learn how to handle stress better?
There is one interesting thing I’ve noticed while researching stress. The way people handle stress and their level of success are often correlated. Successful people manage stress more efficiently.
This must mean we can re-learn this behavior. There are people out there who are living proof of this.
But how do we go against our biology, childhood, and culture? How do we learn to cope with stress or, better yet, prevent it from happening?
1. Organization
This is the number one tip most therapists (or Marie Kondo)suggest. Stress is usually triggered when we feel we don’t have control over a certain situation.
Organizing yourself is the easiest way to take control of what happens.
Don’t confine it to one area of your life. Try to declutter your home, organize your time, or organize tasks ahead of you.
These are great ways to reduce your chances of feeling stressed. It takes effort, of course. But if you manage, you’ll find yourself having more time and energy to battle other obstacles.
2. Relaxation
We often focus so much on the world that we forget ourselves.
We romanticize being busy.
Your body under stress is like a muscle under weights: if you don’t push against it, you can end up getting hurt.
Taking the time to take a walk, learning how to breathe properly, meditating… All these simple things lower anxiety and stress. They also reduce our blood pressure, slow down our heart rate and relieve tension.
Imagine you find yourself in a difficult situation. Would you handle it better if you just came from a nice and relaxing walk? Or after a screaming match with your superior?
Try to practice relaxation.
3. Taking action
“If you can’t beat fear, just do it scared.” A brilliant quote by Glennon Doyle Melton.
As I mentioned in the beginning, I often worry before taking any action. Worrying leads to anxiety, anxiety leads to stress.
Try to take action before stressing over it. Even the worst tasks don’t sound that bad when you break them into steps and do them straight away. It might sound scary, so what? Do it while scared. There is nothing wrong with fear, as long as that fear doesn’t block you.
We tend to say “I am not inspired” to do something, so we wait. On some days, inspiration hits right when we want it. On others, we need to make inspiration happen.
Do you know why kids often do better on the Marshmallow challenge? It’s because adults spend the time they were given for the task — on thinking, debating, fighting. About past experiences and the best solutions. Kids start with the task and handle it as they go. They just do it until they find a solution that works.
Be a kid again, start doing whatever you need to. The solution or the inspiration will come to you.
Don’t allow stress to control your life
All of us deal with some form of stress, in one way or another.
It’s impossible to live your life and never be stressed. Don’t put yourself under that kind of pressure.
The issue arises when we get to a point where stress becomes a way of life.
Did you know that if you don’t learn how to manage stress, or remove the stressors, you are putting your body in a constant state of alert?
Many people experience physiological changes influenced by stress. From lighter ones as digestive symptoms to more severe ones like heart disease, diabetes, or issues with mental health.
Don’t let it get that far. Master those simple techniques to prevent stress from even becoming a factor.
And if nothing works, talk to someone. A friend, teacher, therapist. Your health should always be a priority.